Pastors and Moral Failure

After reading about multiple moral pastoral failures over the last month, my first emotional reaction was that of heartbreak. When the mighty fall, those we deem mighty in spirituality, how hard and reverberating is their fall? After the feeling of heartbreak settled, my first thought was, "Why is anyone surprised?" I once heard a wonderful therapist, Diane Langberg, say that, as a pastor or counselor, one cannot expect to go untouched by the constant sin and death that surround us in our professions. In essence, Langberg strongly indicated that we will be stained and wounded because we walk along side and with the stained and wounded. 

Perry Noble. Wounded. Rob Turner. Wounded. Darrin Patrick. Wounded. 

Paul Gibson. Wounded.

Wait..What?! Have I experienced a moral failure that disqualifies me for the pastorate? No, but I must admit that hearing about these pastors shook me deeply. If it could happen to these bastions of evangelical faith, it could definitely happen to me. Therefore, in the words of St. Peter, I must be sober and vigilant because the evil one walks around preying on whom he might devour. Based on the history of the pastorate, especially very recent history, he loves to devour pastors. When we fight someone who wants to devour us, we will be wounded and stained. 

There is an additional problem for pastors. We not only battle the evil one in our own lives, we enter into the dark battlefields, the secret places, the traumatic scenes of many of our parishioners. We might survive our own battle with the evil one, but what about helping other people fight the good fight? 

When I heard of Pastor Noble's failures, again, I was heartbroken. However, Pastor Noble is a man that God has used to grow a church to over 2,000 people. We celebrate that growth, but while we celebrate that growth, we forget that a church of 2,000 people is full of 2,000 broken, messy, sinful, wounded, and stained people. I cannot imagine the burdens and wounds that Pastor Noble sustained while pastoring a church of so many people. Again, a singular, personal fight against the evil one is tough. But to also partner with so many in their fights against the evil one? Talk about exhaustion and fatigue. Mountains and valleys. Think Elijah on Mt. Carmel and then Elijah after Mt. Carmel. Pastoring is extremely hard work. Pastors can quickly burnout and experience exhaustion. 

So, what are pastors, who are burnout and exhausted, tempted to do? Shutdown. Medicate. Escape. They will drink. They will look at pornography. They will develop a gambling addiction. They will be tempted to engage in an extra-marital relationship. They will power up and bully in order to avoid having to be vulnerable and sensitive. They will watch hours of endless and meaningless television. They will do whatever is necessary to dress the emotional wounds and cover the emotional stains that develop from both their own battle with the evil one and with all the other battles they share with their parishioners. 

I believe it is time that churches stop expressing reactive surprise when their leaders fall and, instead, proactively prepare their leaders to avoid the temptation that occurs due to exhaustion and burning out. Below are three suggestions I have for congregations who wish to avoid the heartache of pastor failure.

1. Hold your pastor accountable regarding their walk with Jesus. And, start by asking about their practice of Sabbath.  I have yet to meet an older, wiser pastor who did not practice sabbath on a consistent basis. If your pastor does not practice Sabbath, take away their church keys for a day (seriously)! A great resource for pastors who struggle with Sabbath is a book titled, “Sabbath Keeping” by Lynne M. Baab or “Sacred Rhythms” by Ruth Haley Barton. I have used both to help me shape a doable rhythm of life and ministry.
2. Make sure your pastor focuses more time on their family than on their role as pastor. Celebrate the times you hear of your pastor turning off their phone in order to focus on their family. Honor those times when your pastor says that they will be away from work. (Yes, all pastors know that they are needed in times of emergency. But, make sure you are contacting your pastor during a true emergency.) Offer to watch the kids in case your pastor needs some time with their spouse. Like their family’s pictures on Facebook. Show your pastor that you understand that their family is first.
3. Create safe places of confession and forgiveness for your pastor. I can imagine that in all the lives of the pastors mentioned above, there had been moments where they felt like they needed to seek help, but did not for fear of exposure. After all, how can a successful pastor actually admit that they need help? Creating environments where pastors feel as if they cannot be human and ask for help and forgiveness is dangerous and unbiblical. Pastors need safe places like a therapist’s office or a friend’s back porch where they can be honest about their own struggles without having to worry about repercussions or judgements. (Side note: If affordable, I like to mandate to my staff that they either receive life coaching or counseling at least once per year. If they refuse to do so, that’s a red flag.) If a pastor confesses a serious moral failure that affects their ability to do ministry, do what is best for the church, but also make sure the pastor gets the help they need to be redeemed. 

These are only three suggestions, but I believe they are foundational to helping a pastor survive and even thrive in their fight and their congregation’s fight with the evil one. Please pray for your pastor on a daily basis and together, you guys can help your city, town, or local setting look more like the Kingdom of Heaven.